Aboriginal, Afterlife, Awareness, Collective, Grief, Indigenous Issues, Love, Mental health, NDN, poem, Poetic Justice, poetry, PTSD, Self care, Self realization, Stolen Sisters, Strength, Wellbeing, women

Phyllis performs “Dear Papa,” “Mary Margaret,” “The Losing Battle,” “Has Anyone Ever,” and “Break Free.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gdFV_foLmTE&fbclid=IwAR1EfGrGhozeiS38K7wb-46aqSctu-IVxOfvrTEgkpb0SOCitWA6zG26tt8
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Aboriginal, Awareness, Collective, Love, Mental health, Native, poem, Poetic Justice, poetry, PTSD, Self care, Self realization, Strength, Uncategorized, Wellbeing, women, Writing

Before I Self Destruct

Before I self destruct

Take me under your wing

Lift me up to higher places

Yet, keep me firmly grounded

Before I self destruct

I pray for healing

The pain that is within

Mend what is broken

Before I self destruct

I take time to meditate

To allow the forces of the universe

 Provide me with clarity and guidance

Before I self destruct

Examining my life

The good and the bad

The gifts and lessons of the Creator

Before I self destruct

Let go of the past and future

Live in the moment

Not looking back

Before I self destruct

Help me to remember who I am

What my purpose is

And follow my destiny

Before I self destruct

I forgive myself, and rebalance

Aboriginal, Anishinaabe nini, Awareness, Collective, Indigenous Issues, Love, Native, NDN, poem, Poetic Justice, poetry, Sahaja Yoga, Self care, Uncategorized, Wellbeing, women, Writing

Dear NDN Nini

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You with the brown skin and brown hair. I see you walking this journey, working on trying to be a better man. Anishinaabe Kwewag are counting on you, for your Respect, Love, Honesty, Wisdom, Bravery, Truth and Humility.

These days it seems you have forgotten us. Leaving us to do the work of protecting the sacred. We need your Strength to carry on. We walk in balance but get push off every once in a while by your harsh words and non-compassion. The world has hardened you and we feel it. Our ancestors feel it. You come and go like the winds of seasons change.

When are you going to heal? Your kin, partners and friends are counting on each and every one of you. 1000s ancestors before you have made the same mistakes, it is up to you to heal for your descendants. One day you to will be an ancestor to your relations. If you don’t do the work in this life you will have to do in spirit.

We already have been born with the world against us, just by being NDN. You are worth more than you could ever imagine. We are the First Peoples! Stand proud! Don’t let the temptations of life destroy you. You don’t have to be perfect or live up to anyone’s expectations, and when you fall get back up and go harder. It’s okay to have fun and enjoy life. But seek that balance to be a niishin Anishinaabe Nini.

If you are in a relationship, treat her with the 7 grandfathers and she will push to do better herself. We need each other, whether it be family, friend or partner. Of all the sacred bundles we carry there is none more sacred than Love. The relationship between 2 people is euphoric when it is in its purest form. Love doesn’t mean attachment or co dependance. It means to uplift each other and help each other grow mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

Dear NDN man you are enough, respected and cherished. Don’t let the world make you bitter! Find your strength, it’s in you DNA. You matter!

Gaazawin,

NDN Kwewag

 

 

 

 

Aboriginal, Awareness, Collective, Indigenous Issues, Love, Meditation, Native, poem, Poetic Justice, poetry, Uncategorized

Take me Away

As the sun begins to fade, the waves bounce off the rocks and glide over the sand. Water can be as gentle as a summer’s breeze or hard as a mountain top. Water can make or destroy life; powerful unlike anything other.

As I sit on a rock by the water’s edge I am reminded how beautiful it is to be alive. Water is everything. Without her we are nothing. She is the glue that binds our atoms together. She is energy, she is the one thing we can’t live without.

When the world turns cold she becomes hardened and unbreakable. When she gets heated she is what cools us. We drink her; nourishment in the simplest form. How can we ever take her for granted? She will still be here long after we are gone.

When I am close to her she opens my heart and mind. I offer her tobacco and pray to Creator and her. The greatest gift from Creator is tobacco we should honour that gift to creator everyday.

Thoughts enter my mind. All my insecurities and self doubt arise. I hold my sema in my left hand close to my heart. I don’t have to speak Creator already knows our troubles and doubts. I just give thanks for the blessings and the lesson that unfold while on my journey down the Red Road. I never ask why I just accept what is and leave it in Creator’s  hands, he knows whats best for all of us. I leave what no longer serves purpose with the water and she takes it away.

I have many dreams and goals. I work hard to make them happen but, I also know that everything I do is not my doing, it is our Ancestor’s and Creator who guide us. I have faith that they will take me away to higher places. I want to fly as high as the Eagle does, above the clouds close to the stars. I have the vision of an eagle and I see what is inshore for me. The perfect gift Creator has given to Creation is finding high self in simplistic things, and most impotantly never forget to give Creator the greatest gift he gave to us… Sema. He loves to receive the very same gift to from you.

 

 

 

Afterlife, Awareness, Collective, Grief, Love, poem, Poetic Justice, poetry, Self realization, Stolen Sisters, Strength, Uncategorized, Wellbeing, women

Grief

Grief doesn’t get easier…  We just learn to accept the memories are more significant than the loss

Aboriginal, Awareness, Collective, Love, poem, Poetic Justice, poetry, Self care, Strength, Uncategorized

Strength

Pain is one of our greatest teachers’

no one can know their own demise…

Perhaps we have already lived it

 

Collective, Essay, Mental health, Self realization, Uncategorized, Wellbeing, Writing

A Beautiful Mind

People have been profoundly affected by great works of art. Maybe it was a book, movie, photograph, drawing or painting, a song or musical composition. A movie has had a powerful impact on me. The movie is called A Beautiful Mind. This movie has affected me because even though he suffered from mental illness he was able to triumph in his career. Also how he was able to find peace and love in his life.

A Beautiful mind is based on a true story of John Forbes Nash Jr. John. He was a mathematical genius of the 1950’s, who throughout his life made ground breaking theories that amazed the greatest scholar’s of his time. This movie also tells the story of John’s life long battle with schizophrenia. It tells the tale of his struggle with his mental illness and how he miraculously was able to conquer his disability and win the Noble peace prize in 1994. It also shows the effects his mental illness had on his loved ones. It was clearly challenging and somewhat confusing to John’s wife. Instead of walking away she supported him, helped him overcome his illness by showing him that love is real, not his delusions, they were only imagined. With many years of psychiatric therapy, and loving support from his wife. John was able to return to work at Princeton University and become a well respected professor. This movie has been an inspiration to me.

This movie had a powerful impact on me in more ways than one. I too have suffered from mental illness for many years. Struggled with symptoms, treatments, as well as the isolation that a person with a mental illness experiences. I have also witnessed the effects it has on loved ones. Most importantly, like John I have had to go through therapy to have an understanding of my illness to face the stigma that is associated with being labeled. I have been able to not let my illness define me, and not let it hold me back from being a productive member of society. My illness is different than John’s, its Borderline Personality Disorder. I have had to put my aspirations on hold and take a break to heal. Learn how to cope with symptoms in a healthy way, and to regain the confidence to continue on with my life and family.

John’s wife did not give up on him in spite of all the traumatic experiences she has seen John go through. “I need to know that something extraordinary is possible”. This statement was made by John’s wife when she was just about ready to give up. The love they had for each other had to be stronger in order to conquer his illness. This showed how unconditional love triumphs over any obstacle.

Watching this movie again, after seeing it many years ago I could relate more so to John’s life. How, I too, struggled for quite some time until I was diagnosed in my late 30’s. How the last few years have been hard as well as rewarding, and to see the positive effects therapy has allowed me to progress. The fears I overcame, and how much my loved ones have been there for me. I think the movie was a great work of art not only because of the actors/actresses but because how remarkable John Forbes Nash Jr. was in his life.

Aboriginal, Awareness, Collective, Love, Native, Self care, Self realization, Uncategorized, Wellbeing, women, Writing

Untitled

Since I have been concentrating on bettering myself life hasn’t gotten any easier, but, it has become more significant. There is meaning in a day. Not that time has become more valuable, more so that it has become a means to make the most of my life.

I have  forgotten what it was like to watch the days just pass on by without doing something productive. Now that I have put my efforts into inspiring others to heal; live their life and follow their dreams.

There is great healing for me when I place my head down towards a blank sheet of paper and begin to allow my thoughts to unfold. This is where I feel at most peace. There is a strong connection between my spirit and the creator in this space.

I find many answers to life’s great mysteries; the questions I have about life. My prayers are answered here. When I write I don’t even think about the words, I just let them scatter onto the page, sometimes it doesn’t make sense at the time. But, when I go back later it comes to me like an epiphany.

Creator hears us through our art. Writing is my art. Our prayers are word in the air, but, writing is talking on paper.

What is it that speaks to you? How do you interpret the world? Is there something that you have found that gives you purpose?

Some people have become accustom to living a life without doing the things that bring them joy. Days, weeks, months, years pass by and the only thing they can focus on is how shitty their life has become.

I went through ha bit of writer’s block. I felt as though I had nothing to write. The mundane task of academic writing took away my passion for reading and writing.

Facilitating creative writing has brought me back to me. Who knew that by sharing my gift with others would also help me too.

I also have to accept the writing process. I did not lose my touch, more so, I was in the gestation period of the writing cycle. No guilt or shame has become of this, I continue to share my thoughts and stories.

 

Aboriginal, Awareness, Collective, Indigenous Issues, Love, Mother Earth, Native, Self care, Self realization, Uncategorized, Wellbeing, women, Writing

Back In the Day

I remember the things my Nokimis  and Noshimis use to say and show me as young child. At the time I did not understand what exactly it was they were trying to teach me. It seemed a bit confusing at the time as I was just a young girl. I was sent to live with my Nokimis when I was 8 and in that time I thought I was sent away from my mom because I wasn’t loved, looking back now, I know that wasn’t the case. My mom sent me to live with her because there was things that she couldn’t teach me that knowledge that only our Elders possess, that comes from life experience.

The knowledge you can’t find in books or that is tokenized on-line. My Nokimis always had a gift with words even though English wasn’t her first language. I use to fade away into her voice listening to her life as a child living off the land and knowing only to take what she needed; possessing value of community and that no one went with out. In the times that there wasn’t much the family pulled together and made due with what little they had.

Colonization had her thinking that her ways were the inferior way of living. She was ashamed of being  First Nations and at times would devalue her culture to try to fit in. It was no fault of her own that she felt this way. I know if she were alive today she would be so proud of me reclaiming my identity of an Anishnawbe Kwe. Although, she did not knowingly teaching me the Anishnawbe’s way of life. She made sure that I knew how to make a blanket to keep me warm, how to gut and cook a fish, and always had me following her in the garden.

It was difficult for me living with my aunt and cousins. I was treated rather unkind; not feeling like I belong. I was teased and made to feel shame because I wasn’t with my mom. Because of this my Grandmother was a bit more kinder and paid just a bit more attention to me. Instead of feeding to the fire of jealously from my family, she kept me busy. Back then it felt as though I was always doing chores, she really was teaching me how do keep going no matter what and not to lets others actions or words distract me.

It was hard for all of us growing up (even her), being separated from her siblings, all of them were sent off to residential school. As a child my grandmother had Scarlett fever so she was not sent to school. I am amazed at the strength she had despite all the challenges she had to face. She started having children at 14 years old and didn’t stop until she was 42, and after she raised her own children she was looking after her Grandchildren. When her mother became older she took care of her too. She never got to travel the world, get an education or simply just live life for herself. Everything she did, she did for others to make their live’s just a little bit easier.

This way of life back in the day, the way our Elders lived was simple. The complexity came when they were forced to be separate from the land, language and ways of life. We all need to honour the beauty of our culture as Anishnawbe people and make an effort to bring those ways back. First with ourselves, then, to our communities and beyond. My Grandmother was brought into this world knowing her traditions and when she left, her spirit was sent home in a traditional good way.

I carry her and a thousand ancestors before me in my blood. My life only became more meaningful once I had realized this. Once the healing within myself began I started looking at all the challenges I had as lessons. That, I could only lead as far as I had gone. I have experienced great humility, but I have also, felt most proud of being who I am… An Anishnawbe Kwe.

 

 

Aboriginal, Awareness, Climate awareness, Collective, Global warming, Indigenous Issues, Meditation, Mother Earth, Native, R.A.I.N TO HEAL M.E, Sahaja Yoga, Self realization, Shri Mataji, Uncategorized, women

Climate Awareness

We all are enjoying the oddly warm winter we are having this year. Although it feels like a blessing we need to be aware of the affects it is having on other parts of the world as well as our home cities.

I must admit that I am rather fond of this weather but this is very damaging to our future sustainability. R.A.I.N to heal M.E (realize awareness in nations to heal mother earth) is a grassroots initiative to come together as ALL nations to look at ways to bring awareness and make changes to heal our planet. I have been deeply involved in the free 12 month programs across Ontario to come up with solutions, and to meditate collectively to bring awareness within each and everyone of us. http://www.free-meditation.ca

This proposal was created by the Sahaja Yogini’s of the Halton region. These volunteers have committed there time, talent and creativity to bring this awareness to everyone. Sahaja yoga was discovered in 1970 by Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi. The source of all her knowledge is how we have collectively come together. I personally have been a Sahaja yogini for 1 1/2 years. Based on my experience I have never felt anything so rewarding than to be a part of an initiative that is very much needed now!

Some rather shocking facts have been discovered by scientists and NASA. The arctic has receded 40% since 1979 and NASA has predicted that by 2037 it could have an entire ice free summer. If this happens many coastal cities will submerge into various large bodies of water around the world. The Arctic has felt the most damage of our ignorance to protect our Mother Earth.

This is not just about the facts of climate change it is also a call to action to come together to engage in ways that will we can address immediate action to prevent further damage. The reality is if we don’t do something soon the conditions will only get worse. Resources will decrease by double, food, water and clean air will become even more of a commodity. Collectively from our diverse nation of North America we can make change, we are stronger in numbers.

As an Indigenous woman I know the importance of balancing in all things. Mother Earth cannot heal as fast as we are destroying her. Also, as a Sahaja yogini I have learned that it is our duty to share true knowledge. With so many natural catastrophes happening around the world it is hard not to want to make change; we must remember that change happens within ourselves outwards.